I was going through some old Penny Arcade comics when I came across this one from a while back.
It reminded me of my recent (and I’m sure, future) dealings with Bell Canada. To give you a summary:
Bell Canada had known for a month that a new customer needed to be hooked up to their system but decided there was no need for it until I called and complained. The process takes unnecessarily long so it has lost our internet business.
A bit of a background:
About mid December my parents and I called Bell Canada and requested both phone and internet service. As I queasily dialed the number I though back to all the horror stories I had heard and experienced with its service. Looking over the fact that the service rep tried to sell us the speed in kilobYTES instead of the actual kiloBITS it is in, we set up the account and I repeatedly ask for confirmation of the date at which we can begin using the internet. January 7th I am told.
Fast forward to January 8th. I bring the modem in the house, unpack it and wire it all up. I check the letter with the user name and password and see the activation date: January 7, 2008. GREAT! Having never set up a DSL connection and wanting to see what wonderful first time wizard they have, I put the CD in and follow the instructions. When it comes to the wiring of the modem, the Power, DSL and Ethernet lights should be lit up. I only have the Power and Ethernet lights on, no DSL signal.
I call tech support and speak to [Tech Rep #1 - TR1] who informs me that (in Bell’s Blunderful Blorld) usually it takes 24-48 hours from the activation date for the account to actually be activated (ummm ok?). Ok I’ll give you that. It’s a new account, whatever. I can wait another 24 hours.
January 9th. Morning: Still no DSL light. I call the accounts department and speak with [Account Rep #1 - AR1]. She informs me that the account which was set up nearly a month before is still “pending” and has not been opened yet. I tell her it is unacceptable of Bell Canada to treat a new customer this way. Also, not being able to connect to work, they are costing me upwards of $160 / day. [AR1] offers me dial-up hours until January 11th when the account “should be activated.” Ridiculous offer, but I accept. At least I will be able to connect to work and let them know how I can be reached if needed. The dial-up hours will not be free, they will be charged to the account but she gives me a reference number which I can use when the bill comes in to have the charges removed. [AR1] then puts me in contact with [TR2] whom I ask for a description of what the problem is. She tells me something about a central office not having the line, because it’s a new line to the house and it is dedicated so that no one else will use the line (like I care, I just want my internet connection). [TR2] then informs me that it usually takes 5 business days to have something like this set up (UNACCEPTABLE). When I start questioning her about this she goes quiet (I might have called the situation “bullshit” to begin with. I was pretty peeved off at this point).
Afternoon: I decide to call again and speak to the tech department. I wanted an explanation of what the problem was. I spoke with [TR3] who (besides actually speaking English properly) was able to explain exactly what the problem was: the central office did not have room for another line in their switch (paraphrased as there’s no need to get into the really technical stuff) .He assured me that the matter had been escalated to the highest level of support and that SWAT was on it and it will be solved, etc. etc. (Great but I still don’t have an internet connection).
Bell Canada had known for a month that a new customer needed to be hooked up to their system but decided there was no need for it until I called and complained.
Finally we had had enough. January 10th I called to cancel. I spoke with [Cancellations Rep #1 - CR1] who immediately upon hearing my reason for canceling (I set up and account and it had not been opened yet) asked me if I would keep the service if he could connect it right away. “No, that’s ok, you’ve had all week.” [CR1] then goes into threats (maybe too harsh a word but you get the point):
CR1: “You know you’re on a 2 year contract and there will be charges for breaking the contract.”
ME: “As far as I understand it, the contract stipulates that Bell Canada will be providing a service which I, as Bell Canada’s customer will then use starting on the activation date which was this past Monday. Bell Canada did not offer the service, Bell Canada broke the contract.”
CR1: “Well your contract says you have to cooperate with tech support problems…”
ME: “I’ve been on the phone with your tech people all week, I know what the problem is, I have been reasonably cooperative, you didn’t hold up your part of the bargain.”
Finally he gave up and offered a no questions asked, no fees cancellation of the account if I kept it over night (I guess they get charged or reprimanded if they can’t keep a customer?). Fine.
January 11th I call again to cancel and speak with [CR2]. She immediately goes first into their retaining strategies (if I get it set up now will you keep it? No.) then the intimidation tactics (there will be charges, blah blah). I politely ask her to look at the notes made on the account, read the note left by [CR1] and proceed with the cancellation. She again says there will be charges because the account was open in the first place. I inform her the account is not open, it is pending therefore in limbo. She says the account will not be cancelled until February 11th (why?). We don’t have the modem hooked up, therefore the account will not be used. The modem will be returned as soon as we get their return box.
I wish I could say for certain that this is the end of the saga. I wish, but I cannot. Here are my expectations for the coming 2 – 3 months (Feb, March and April):
- We will be charged for the service and/or cancellation fees.
- We will be charged for dial-up hours.
- Bell Canada will bill us for internet service in the coming months even though the service is cancelled.
- Bell Canada will lose all our business.
Bell Canada, surprise me by not making the first three predictions come true!
(To be continued for certain)
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